Happy Groundhog Day!

So, according to the groundhogs we are going to have an early spring. Let's hope so because I'm so tired of winter this year. Yes, here in Alberta the sun is shining but its been cold and the snow is deep. All I long for is dry roads, green grass and being on the Harley Fat Boy with the landscape buzzing by and the wind on my face! Lots of unplanned and unstructured road trips planned for this summer. 

I'm unable to go to Spain to walk the Camino de Santiago due to all my health issues this June as I had dreamed of so instead I'll be attending Chuck Spezzano's 5 day course in June in Vancouver, Change Your Mind, Change Your Heart, Change The World. This will be a transformational event for us all as a collective. Listen to your souls calling and attend. Contact Susan How email canada@pov-int.com or call 604-298-4011 or www.pov-int.com

Also, on March 1st Chuck Spezzano will be in Vancouver for and evening lecture and you can purchase tickets via Susan at the contacts above or at Banyan Books in Vancouver. Do not miss this!!!!

I've had a challenging start of 2011 and quite a frustrating one as well. Last June I initially went to the doctor because I had a sore throat. So, 7 months later, 5 doctors, one thyroidectomy and I still have a sore throat. Finally, I convinced a doctor I didn't need medication, what I needed was to know why this is happening so she sent me for another test and low and behold there is something wrong however because the CT didn't show its cancer I've been waiting a month for a date to see an ENT (ear,nose, throat) doctor. I'm so frustrated with the medical system. Considering what I've endured to date I should be able to at least get an appointment but no.

Since the surgery last fall I've been so worn out and have had considerable body aches and pains which because of my history of Rheumatoid I was sent to a Rheumatologist yesterday. I was grateful he was open minded and heard me explain that all I need is a higher dose of Synthroid but of course because my TSH levels are 'normal' the Endrocrinologist doesn't think that is necessary. How is it not necessary when I still have strong symptoms of surpressed thyroid? Errrr..... I'm so angry and feel so powerless. This is not a comfortable place for a powerful woman to be sitting in. I'm just giving it a day or two so when I contact the doctor my words are heard and that I don't sound like the crazy woman I'm becoming.

So, the doc doesn't think I have rheumatoid but is doing some further tests to make sure. He agrees with me that the thyroid drug needs to be increased at least to try and see if it makes a difference. He will write the other doc and see if it makes a difference.

I haven't been checking my blog nor writing much at all but I did check my stats the other day and was so overwhelmed to see that my little blog has reached Canada, the US, the UK, Germany, Spain, Ireland, Italy, Poland, India, Indonesia, France Switzerland, Pakistan, Latvia, Denmark, Australia, Thailand, South Korea, Turkey and Saudia Arabia. Wow!!! The power of the internet that connects us via cyberspace. I also had the blessing of meeting Emily who is 19 and has had thyroid cancer twice and is so brave every day. People continue to brush off those of us with thyroid cancer because according to most people the typical comment is 'Well that's the cancer to have.' Seriously people NO cancer is the cancer to have!! And in case you don't know.... people die of thyroid cancer too so how is that the cancer to have? I am far more sick now than before I found out that I had cancer and I'm far more sick since the surgery that was suppose to make me feel so much better. I don't feel even remotely better or even an iota better. I'm being treated by the blood tests results rather than by how I'm feeling and this is not a correct path of healing. I long to find a doctor who will hear my whole story.

Also, with thyroid cancer its next to impossible to find support. I went to the Cancer Agency for therapy the other day only to be told by the therapist that I'm doing all the right things and here is a pamphlet of activities we offer but all of them are full, sorry. Really, that was absurd and a waste of time. I feel invisible to the world of cancer survivors. Externally I look okay except for the scar that is front and center because when I venture out into the world I try to look good but that's a catch 22 because since I look 'normal' everyone assumes that I'm perfectly healthy and fine but I'm so far from FINE!! There aren't any support groups or walks or clothing lines, etc for thyroid cancer survivors. I've found a few websites but here in the city there is nothing and its really lonely. I'm still suppose to have RAI (the radiation treatment) but can't until I feel stronger and until I find out what is happening with my throat issues and Lord knows how long that will take since I've been swept under the carpet.

I want my life back so badly!! Because of my lack of metabolism I've gained a fair amount of weight which is extremely depressing. But hey.... according to the docs gaining 30lbs over 5 months is nothing to be concerned about!! Come on!!! The stress this has imposed on my body and my psyche has been devastating but hey... my TSH levels are 'normal' so no need to adjust the meds. Total Crap!!

Today I'm on day 3 of lying in bed with I'm pretty sure the worst chest cold I've ever had. I am so incredibly sick and tired of being sick and tired and want so bad to have my life back.  

My commitment this month is to blog more frequently as it does make me feel more connected to the world outside my little home. Spring is on the way and I pray for peace around the world especially in Egypt right now. Talk about a powerless situation. I watch the news and my heart goes out to all Egyptians around the world. My mind this week has been on my sweet friend Melissa of www.epiphanycakes.com  Her heritage is Egyptian and she is beautiful and the most amazing baker and mother!!!

Let's join together and pray for peace worldwide......