Thursday, September 30, 2010

First Blog.... Relaxing...

This is the beginning of my blogging world. I've wanted to do this for a long time for a variety of reasons and now more than ever I'm being pushed to talk openly about what is happening in my little corner of the world.

As I begin please forgive me as I'm brand new at this and although I feel that I have lots to say many of you might think differently.

Two weeks ago yesterday I was told that I had Thyroid Cancer. Who would have guessed that one! I'm still in a state of shock and the past couple weeks have been alot for me to deal with. I'm trying my best to wrap my mind around this diagnosis but it all seems so surreal. I spend a great deal of time far from the edge of the medical world vortex and as soon as the words came out of the surgeon's mouth I felt myself being sucked into the black downward spiraling vortex of allopathic medical land.

I'm scheduled to have surgery next Wednesday which ironically is the same day that my dear spiritual teacher Yogi Bhajan was liberated from his body in 2004. I met Yogiji in 1998 after a couple years of waiting to meet him. This was a big deal standing in line at his cabin at the Solstice site (Ram Das Puri) way up in the Jemez Mountains of New Mexico. It was hot and dusty and I was dressed in my cleanest whites so nervous and filled with anticipation of what he might say or prophecise about me. When it was my turn I handed him a mango as a gift and knelt at his feet, dipping my head in reverence. As I raised my head and my eyes met his he waved his hand as if swatting away a fly and said, 'You're too uptight, go relax.' 'Relax', I said. 'I don't know how to relax. What do you mean relax? I'm not uptight!' He then said, 'Your destiny is already written on your forehead you need to relax.'

Well, that was 12 years ago and I 'm still learning the art of relaxing. Now I'm in a situation where I'm being forced to relax and slow down. My challenge isn't slowing my body but slowing the constant ongoing chatter of my mind. Over the next couple months while healing I'm going to do my very best to practice this sacred and challenging art while living in a world addicted to busy-ness and venti lattes laced with too much caffeine. (I am a decaf girl and always will be. I don't need to inject any added anxiety into my world!)

Today I start my relaxing by forcing myself up and out of bed at the luxurious time of 8:57am and am going to go for a walk in my neighbourhood of cookie-cutter houses before jetting off to St. Albert to help a friend and then heading downtown to give a massage.

Today I will be mindful of relaxing. Thank you for joining me on my healing journey! xo