2nd Anniversary!!

Wow! Where does the time go? Two years today I had surgery and had my cancerous thyroid removed. It was a bright, beautiful day just like today.

Not much to say today except Thank You! It hasn't been an easy road (health wise) but regardless I'm still on the road or path or whatever you wish to call it and for that I'm grateful!

I have so much bounty in my life today. Amazing sweetheart who adores me, a beautiful cozy home, wonderful friends new and old. I even had three invites for Thanksgiving dinner this weekend!! It might just end up being a bowl of soup though because I allowed myself to get a wee bit unnecessarily over stressed last week and now have a case of strep throat. Me and my new pal Apple TV and Nurse Jackie (its such a fabulous show!) are loving our time alone this long weekend. 

May you all have a safe, happy holiday weekend and remember to keep 

gratitude and thanks in your heart not only this weekend 

but every single moment. 

With every breath remember how much we have. 

I'm so blessed, so very, very blessed!! xo

 

PS - Thank you Yogiji for being a continuous source of inspiration and for always poking, provoking, confronting and elevating me way back then and still today. I miss you with all my heart! xoxo

Hello Blog Readers!

This is a different type of post. 

Are you looking for protection while driving in your car 

or any other mode of transportation?

I have designed and sell these keychains called Kundalini Keychains. 

The keychain has this mantra on one side:

Ad Guray Nameh  (I bow to the Primal Guru)
Jugad Guray Nameh  (I bow to the Truth that has existed through the ages)
Sat Guray Nameh  (I bow to True Wisdom)
Siri Guru Deyv-ay Nameh  (I bow to the great Divine Wisdom)

And the other side is a Sikh salutation:  'Wahe Guru Ji Ka Khalsa, Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fateh' (Khalsa is of God and to God belongs the victory' or 'Hail the Guru’s Khalsa! Hail the Guru’s victory!')

When you get in your car or vehicle say or chant this mantra once for protection. 

These mantras come from Kundalini Yoga and 

I've been teaching this style of yoga for almost 20 years. 

I'm sure there is a teacher in your home town. 

All you have to do is google Kundalini Yoga and the name of your town or you can go to www.3ho.org/ikyta 

which is the International Kundalini Yoga Teachers Association.

You can purchase a keychain for yourself and your friends and family by contacting me 

at  devatmadesigns@hotmail.com

The picture has a Canadian quarter in it 

so you can see the size of the keychains. 

They can be shipped anywhere in the world!

SAT NAM!!

Time

Tonight while watching one of my favourite shows 'Parenthood' I had a complete meltdown. On the show Christina (character on the show) has breast cancer. It flashed me back to 2 years ago when I was waiting for surgery.

I was so scared. There are few things in this life that frighten me. Very few. I'm not afraid of confrontation, but those of you who know me know this to be true. I'm not afraid of public speaking, in fact the more the merrier. I have a secret dream of standing on stage speaking in front of thousands! I'm not afraid of wild animals... well, except snakes. They terrify me which is rather ironic considering snakes have been known to symbolize the Kundalini and I happen to have been teaching Kundalini Yoga for almost 20 years! What scared me before I found out I had cancer and still scares me today is time.

Time... that simple thing that just ticks away whether we are out saving the planet or enjoying it as a couch potato. The measurement is the same for all of us. In peace and at war a minute is a minute filled with sixty seconds.

I was sharing recently with a friend that I feel like I haven't done anything with my life. With exasperation she reminded me that I had. You see I've been that girl who wasn't afraid to change her life on a dime. Just move in a brand new direction without notice. Funny thing is that one of my favourite expressions is '...subject to change without notice.'

Well, that has been my life and the moment I heard that I had cancer it was devastaing but in the same moment it was like a rock skipping across the top of a still pond. Just another ripple in the life of ME. This ripple has subsided but now its all brewing beneath the surface.

Watching the show tonight Christina asked her husband Adam to allow her to be scared. Even though I was scared I was on my own. Yes, I had support but no one close enough so I could let my brave self just stand still so the terrrified little girl could be seen. I never really let anyone at all know how scared I was or still am. You see even today every time I feel anything in my body, any unusual aches, pains, or pinches my first thought goes to the 'C' word. Oh, no! Not again. I'm not really afraid of having cancer. I'm not really afraid of being sick but I am afraid, actually terrified of time being taken away from me... once again.

Tonight my unbelieveably beautiful friend Lena put this on her FaceBook and I thought it was one of those meant to be moments that said I had to share with this with you.

'This is your life.
Do what you love, and do it often.
If you don’t like something, change it.
If you don’t like your job, quit.
If you don’t have enough time, stop watching TV.
If you are looking for the love of your life, stop; they will be waiting for you when you start doing things you love.'

This is your life!! This is MY life! There is so much that I want to do. There are so many people I want to help. I wish so much that I was wealthy and I could just help was much as I want to. I wouldn't be one of those people who buy $1500 handbags. I'd be paying someone's rent. I don't think I'd even live in a big fancy house but if I did every bedroom would be filled with someone who needs a cozy bed. So, so much to see and do. Like when am I going to write that book I've been planning to write since I was 6 years old? And when will I contact those three internationally acclaimed authors who I met one fateful summer on a European adventure and ask one of them to mentor me to get my words in print? Or at the very least of our my head? One day I keep saying... one day....

I lost a year and a half of my life because of cancer and I'm trying so hard to catch up but that damn clock just keeps ticking. I admit that I do waste time. Yes, I'm the girl who PVR's The Young and the Restless every day but hey, now I don't have to watch the commercials! I love the brilliance and farce Robot Chicken and the competition of reality shows like Amazing Race and Survivor. (all are now PVR'ed so no commericals. I love technology!) The rest of my days are hectic without alot of day dreaming and cloud watching so a little down time watching mindless entertainment is actually relaxing.

I just had a thought. One of my favourite counsellors (yes, its true I've had therapy and more than once!). His name was Jim. I met him in Dawson Creek back in the early '90's. What on earth was I doing in Dawson Creek you are wondering. Well, it was one of those adventures and you'll just have to wait for the book. Jim was a weathered biker who smoked Export A cigarettes during our sessions. One day he told me I need to learn how to do two things that would save me. One was I needed to learn how to spit of which he had me practice in his metal office garbage can. I guess he thought was a little uptight, which I was at the time as I had just moved from Toronto after all. And I need to stop and smell the roses. We have all heard this expression but have we ever done it for fear that if we slow down even for a second to indulge in the fragance of a rose we will miss something else. 

I do stop and smell the roses, especially the beautiful wild roses that are here in Alberta representing the province and every time I think of Jim. He was the best and I wish I knew where he was today because I sure could use a session with him. 

So, back to time. Time's awasting... on a LuluLemon bag there are the words 'Do something everday that scares you.' I know what I'm going to do tomorrow that will be one more thing off my incredibly long bucket list and yes, I'm a whole lot scared (I'll share after I've done it). Scared or not I'm going to go for it because what could be more scary than time running out and ending up with more regret.

Thanks for continiuing to read my blog and for those of you have have been encouraging me to write more frequently. I really appreciate all of you!!!

By the way my favourite time is 11:11.

Special Birthday Gift

It was my birthday yesterday and although I don't really look forward to birthdays this one has some meaning for me as I am now the age my mother was when she died. This of course has given me reason for some introspection of my life and path. Questions have come to mind like 'Have I followed my dreams?', 'What is to come?', 'What do I still need to let go of?' and the biggest question 'Have I accomplished anything important?' This I wonder often. Yesterday morning before I was even out of bed I grabbed my iPad and found a Facebook message from a sweet Kundalini Yoga friend and I have to share it with you. She wrote:


Dear Laara,
I have been thinking of you for days in anticipation of your B'day! I have issues with remembering peoples' b'days, anniversaries, etc (just forgot my Step-Mum's B'day last week for example!) BUT I will never forget yours because you are an extremely amazing and special Soul. A huge part of who I am today is because of you so I will never forget you. I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for you.
Just when I was starting out in the Kundalini world you were there to support and guide me 100%. I had always had desires and dreams to live from my heart fearlessly but I was always too locked up and afraid to do so - it was your example, your love and tenderness, your support that helped me. I went on to teach, to love, to share, to not give up dreams (and go back to school) and to follow my heart. Basically every Woman and Mother I serve and every baby I help deliver has been made possible because of your friendship and influence. You've made a pretty widespread mark in this world lady!!!
I hope this day brings you peace, health, joy, bliss and some goofy fun that includes lots of pleasure!!!
Much love to you today my Dear friend,
Happy Birthday - that long time sun will ALWAYS shine upon YOU!

This touched my heart so much and I'm so grateful to be reminded. Thank you my friend!! Thank you so much for the best birthday present I've ever received!! And may the Long Time Sun always shine upon YOU!!!

Thyroid Update:  About 6 weeks ago I saw my Endocrinologist/Oncologist at the famous Cross Cancer Institute here in Edmonton, Alberta. Once again I pleaded with him to either increase my Synthroid or add a T3 medication called Cytomel. He refused and said that my being tired has absolutely nothing to do with my thyroid and my blood levels all show that I'm normal. What the heck is normal about not being able to get out of bed in the morning? Or only being able to accomplish a couple tasks a daily before crashing on to the couch for the rest of the day? There is nothing normal about constantly feeling winded and foggy!! I was furious and stewed about it for a few days and before going to a local walk in clinic. I explained my story to the doctor and what I wanted to do. Without hesitation he said, 'I don't see why you shouldn't at least try it.' God Bless this man!!!

So, its been four weeks since I've added Cytomel to my daily dose of Synthroid. After the third day I felt completely different! I'm so grateful to have the brain fog lifted and my energy levels increased! I'm hoping this 'feel good' trend continues.

I can't stress enough to be your own advocate! If you don't like the answers, keep asking the question!!

Bless all of you!!