The last couple days I've committed myself to setting my alarm and waking up regardless if I've slept all night or not. I've not only woken up but I've gotten out of bed, did some yoga, did my meditations (Sopurkhs - 31min, Ad Such - 11min but working up to 62min and Har - 3min ~ I know this means nothing to most of you but my Kundalini Yogi friends all have commentary going on in their minds while reading this - LOL!). I've re-committed for the next 40 days. I also bounced on my re-bounder for 15 minutes and walked on the treadmill for 30 minutes. No I didn't crawl back into bed till later in the afternoon when I laid down at 2 yesterday and didn't get up again till after 5pm but a really good old movie was on. Remember Midnight Express with Brad Davis? I think I've seen it at least 20+ times now. Still not as much as I've watched Bridges of Madison County, of which I've lost count but its gotta be closer to 30+. Just a romantic at heart! After watching Midnight Express I did what most non-working women of my generation do at 4pm, we watch Young and the Restless. I've been watching it most of my life. What on earth would I do without Victor Newman in my world!
Yesterday morning I went to the Cross Cancer Institute here in Edmonton for the first time. Apparently its one of the leading cancer clinics in North America. I went because I have an appointment with the docs there next week and I had to sit through this information session which I'm sure was informative to some but for me it was a painful 1.5hours. I realize that they have to talk at the level of the lowest common denominator but thankfully I had meditated in the morning and brought some calmness along with me. I also brought my friend JMcM with me who was a champ and didn't complain at all. Thank you so much for all of your patience through this!
I don't know what will happen next week at the appointment but I'm sure they'll discuss with me the option of radiation and at this point I really don't know what to do. If I take the Radio Active Iodine (RAI) it could be a rather intense process and I'm just starting to feel better. The RAI is taken orally and then depending upon the dose given you have to be quarantined for a number of days. I should add that prior to taking RAI I'd have to go on a low-iodine diet and stop the Synthroid medication (which means my energy will plummet again - ugh!) two weeks prior to being scanned to determine the dose of RAI to be given. From there once I take the RAI then as I mentioned I'd have to be quarantined for a certain number of days which vary from a few to 11. The clothes worn during this time must be burned after as well as bed sheets. I'd be using the same dishes each day as not to contaminate others and the toilet will need to be flushed at least twice after each use as its through body excrement, perspiration and other body fluids that the RAI leaves the body. Pretty freaky that I'll be glowing in the dark.
Its also very hard on the immune system however it ensures that any cancerous cells left behind after surgery will be killed. When the thyroid is removed they cannot take all the tissue so this is how to make sure I'm cancer free or .... I take a chance and trust that all is good. I don't know. I really don't know hence my re-commitment to meditation so I take the time each day to listen to the voice of my God inside me. I love that line that 'prayer is when we talk to God and meditation is when we listen.'
I went to yoga class the other night for the first time in nearly forever! It was so lovely and a strong reminder of how much I miss my community. Its very lonely up here in the north. I have lots of support and I'm grateful for my friends here, please don't get me wrong but when I'm in class and we begin with the Adi Mantra my heart opens and I melt.
My plan is to be on the coast for New Year's Eve, my most favourite day of the year and I hope to connect with my pals there. I don't know where I'll be for Christmas, maybe I'll be driving south or maybe I'll be here watching movies and eating popcorn and just waiting for the day to pass. (I'm not a fan of Christmas, never really have been). I was suppose to make the trek up to Fort McMurray yesterday but plans changes so instead I'm going to Golden tomorrow. I love being near the mountains! I can't wait!!
Today I'm going to work on my list of things to do and continue to enjoy my day which started out so sweet. As this month tends to be a hectic one for most everyone I encourage all of you to schedule in a few minutes a day to stop and feel your heartbeat and remember that you above all are the most important being on the planet. Do it right now. Find your pulse on your wrist and with each beat of your heart mentally and quietly say the words 'Sat Nam'. This means 'truth is my name, truth is my identity.' (or say anything that speaks to you like 'I love you' or 'You are beautiful') It will envoke a connection back to your truth of your authentic self which is so bountiful, blissful and beautiful. (Oh, I wish someone would teach me how to add a music URL and I'd have that song playing for you on here right now. I'll put that back on my wish list. My wish is for a Blogspot mentor!)
Well, I'm off to have a shower, run a couple errands and knit, knit, knit. Yup, I'm a knitter who would have guessed that! Its one of the most meditative, calming things for me to do. When I knit all is right with the world. Its also a great thing to do while listening to music or audio books and its also my guilt free TV watching activity.
Have a fabulous day! Sat Nam!
Good for your for coming back to yoga; it will help you "hear" again.
ReplyDeleteAnd as for the season, something I realized this year is that even though the ways that humans practice their faith (or the interpretation) come and goes over time, the tree is always here.
So, celebrate the tree. Celebrate this time of going within, of going into the darkness and finding your light on the inside. This time when the sap of the tree goes deep, deep, deep into the roots, to ground the tree.
Hugs and light in the darkness,
Dya